• demon: i possessed you
  • me: get the fuck out
  • demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit


When I get hit on

(via violet-lilly)


is it just me or do you think it’d be helpful if they showed a model in the size you were looking for when you’re trying to shop online, like yes that looks great in size small but what about the other sizes 

(via calif0rnia-girl)





what if when you killed someone you gained their best trait

#what if you only got what THEY thought their best trait was 

#you think you’re killing someone for their brain and you get their nose instead #you think you’re killing someone for their strength and you get their baking skills instead #you think you’re killing someone for their cunning and you get their ability to parallel park 

write a goddam book

(via stability)


my mom once told me about how her friend’s daughter was once in a weird relationship with an older man who got off on paying her bills 

like he would give her a credit card and would totally find sexual pleasure in going over all the purchases she made with his money

but they hardly ever talked or saw each other

and the story still sits with me because i think that’s like fairytale kinds of magic right there

(via minimonstertoaster)